When we first started going to Hands Down support group meetings at Scottish Rite, someone asked what age the kids would become aware their hands were different. Several parents answered that it would be around age 4. Patrick and I thought this was crazy late. Brenden always played with his hands and he is so observant. It just seemed like he got it already. But as we are quickly approaching 4 (next week, yikes!), his level of awareness about his hand has really changed. He’s mentioned sweetly and not at all sadly several times that he wished he had two big hands.

Last week there started to be a lot of comments about not being able to do things because he didn’t have two hands. After listening for nearly 4 years to other parents say their kids never say they can’t do something, I was a little surprised to be hearing this. But the group had also given me the confidence to realize there were ways around this. I quickly told him oh yes you can do it. Then I spent a day or two taping cut up toilet paper rolls to things like pom poms, drum sticks and a jump rope. The drums were the first thing I “fixed” for him and he just couldn’t have been any prouder of himself drumming with two hands. Emily and I had to join in him in a marching band and then later that day the band was reformed with Patrick in my place.

So we’ll get through it all just fine, but for a moment there I remembered this can be hard.